Originally published by Two Thousand in 2014

I was sad when I heard that Seapunk died. I was just about to dye my mohawk turquoise when Rihanna performed Diamonds on SNL surrounded by dolphin gifs. Overexposed, Seapunk was dead and buried before I could even ride the wave. But, the breeze of change blew through Sydney this week, announcing that Seapunk had made its return – in ice cream form.

Aqua S is a sky blue ice creamery in the Regents Place shopping mall on George Street. Sick of gelato? There’s only soft serve ice cream here. Bright, colourful and creamy soft serve. The star of the show is Aqua S’s signature flavour – sea salt, which comes freshly piped out of the soft serve machine an irresistible shade of blue. It tastes as good as it looks too – sweet, creamy and subtly sweet. The other flavours on offer will change every fortnight, at the moment you can get a sour lemon iced tea and a rich biscotti flavour.

You can get the flavours on their own, but, that wouldn’t be very fun. Where Aqua S excels is with their toppings. You can have your soft serve cone dipped in pop-rocks, twirled with fairy floss, covered in caramel popcorn or topped with a toasted marshmallow. Eight bucks gets you the ‘all you can eat’ option of every single topping, a beautiful mess of freezing cold sugar that is sure to take over your Instagram feed in 2015.

The walls have been painted to look like clouds and it always smells like popcorn. It’s what I always imagined heaven to be like. Nobody tell Rihanna, she’ll wreck it for everyone.

Spod, ‘Taste the Sadness’

Originally published by Two Thousand in 2014

The year is 2003. I’m 18 and trying to see as many gigs as possible because I wasn’t able to see them before I turned 18 and maybe this privilege will be taken away from me at some point because the government or something. It’s a Friday night, my 5th gig for that week and I’m about a month away from getting glandular fever from going out too much.

I’m at the Hopetoun and watching a man in a pink shirt jump around on stage as he sings along to a backing track on his discman, yelling about nerds and sex parties. Two dancers accompany him, moving in unison and staring blankly while the pink shirted man hugs members of the audience, handing out roses and throwing glitter everywhere. His name is Spod, and I will watch him play about 50 times in the next year.

Spod’s debut album ‘Taste the Radness’ came out 11 years ago. After a month of it being out, I was banned from playing it on my radio show because apparently playing a song called Totally Rad three times a show was too much. Spod filled the gaps between the weirdo rock I loved growing up and the party rap I was falling in love with. It was like Ween writing songs for 2 Live Crew.

The year is 2014. I’m 29 and I go out of my way to not go to gigs. I just got a job that threatens my privilege of not going out all the time. The Hopetoun is long closed and Spod wears black now, rarely performing on any stage. His new album is called ‘Taste the Sadness’ and is a hilariously mopey reflection on his life’s slow decline after the sex party that was 2003.

Gone are the synths and drum machines, replaced with moody piano and slow acoustics. Totally Rad has become Totally Sad and Let’z Dance is now Last Dance. It’s still fucking hilarious, especially if you’re familiar with ‘Taste the Radness’, and even more especially if you too have swapped your pinks for blacks.

Future Classic and Le Coq Sportif present The Reissue Project

Originally published by Two Thousand in 2014

Have you ever wanted to dress like a Flume remix? Future Classic have teamed up with Le Coq Sportif to make this dream a reality!

Future Classic is the Sydney based record label that has released countless modern classics from good folks like Touch Sensitive, Ta-ku and Seekae. Le Coq Sportif is a billion year old sportswear label from France. Both labels have collaborated in the past and released records and bags to put said records in. They’ve come together again for a new collection called The Reissue Project.

Future Classic have gone through their back catalogue and updated some forgotten classics with new remixes, and Le Coq Sportif have delved into their archives and picked six new designs to bring back, including a tracksuit, a bucket hat, a jacket and some tees.

The bright and sophisticated new range goes great with Future Classic’s overall sound. It’s a great match, like electronic music and well groomed facial hair.

REVIEW: Rupert & Ruby

Originally published by Two Thousand in 2014

Since Kickstarter launched I have personally help crowdfund a book I haven’t read and an iPhone gaming accessory that I crammed into the back of a drawer with my least favourite socks after about 30 seconds of trying to make it work. Rupert & Ruby is a new cafe on Stanley St, and the first instance of crowdfunding that hasn’t made me seethe with regret.

Rupert & Ruby is the latest occupant of Icon Park, the space that use crowdfunding to finance new tenants, raising the necessary funds needed to open a new restaurant or bar space. The Rupert part comes from Bondi restaurant Fat Rupert’s, while the Ruby comes from Ruby’s BBQ, an American barbecue pop up named after the wife of the Fat Rupert’s head chef, Eli Challenger. Eli has a passion for barbecue and Southern cooking, and Rupert & Ruby is a cafe where almost everything on the menu has a little nod to the South.

There’s a smoker at Fat Rupert’s, and much of the menu at Rupert & Ruby utilises that cast iron flavour machine, with the smoked chicken salad and the smoked vegetable gratin both benefiting from a welcome hit of schmoke. Even the Big Poppa burger gets a little fire – the meat in the patty is a mixture of chuck and smoked brisket. It’s a completely different texture to what you’re used to in a burger – it may have been even better with a little more fat through the patty. You can easily make up for that lost fat after your meal with dessert – a maple cheesecake with chocolate bacon and popcorn – or even before your meal with breakfast, waffles with fried chicken and ice cream. You might want to crowdfund a bigger belt after eating here though.

REVIEW: Bowery Lane

Originally published by Two Thousand in 2014

Deep inside Suitsville, where parking costs $75 an hour and holding your phone in front of your date for the entire meal is totally ok, sits Bowery Lane, a sprawling, vaguely American complex comprised of a coffee counter, a takeaway sandwich nook, a bar and a restaurant, which is now open for dinner every night of the week.

The fit out is welcoming, long tables for larger groups and intimate booths perfect for dating couples or a romantic reviewer/photographer duo. The American inspired menu mostly lives up to the detailed descriptions, the enormous and meaty share plates definitely being the highlight overall, with a number of diners looking longingly at the neighbouring tables tucking into wagyu short rib or pork collar while they contemplate their soft shell crab burgers.

Bowery Lane’s forays into more trendy, “fun!” dishes is less successful, their decision to serve rare tuna on a tough brioche bun is confusing, although far less confusing than serving their best dessert, cookies and cream, in a jar and then on a huge plank of wood. If there was an award for the most 2014 presentation of food ever, we would have a winner.

Where Bowery Lane stays true to its name is behind the bar. There’s an impressive list of New York’s finest beers, from Brooklyn Lager to Sorachi Ace, both rarely found at any of Sydney’s Americana hotspots. All beers are served in a glass, not a jar, and without a plank of wood beneath them.

Pacifico Optical

Originally published by Two Thousand in 2015

I have a funny relationship with sunglasses. In that they generally make me look like a turd. It doesn’t matter if they’re a pair of $500 Pradas or some electric blue speed dealers from the servo, 95% of sunnies are a one way ticket to Turdsville. When I see a photo of two cool guys in a cool car wearing cool shades on their cool heads, I see myself in the beat up Camry stuck behind them in traffic, my eyes wincing in the harsh sunlight, in immense pain, forever.

Pacifico Optical have all the makings for a classic Andrew Levins turd costume: the idea of two bros from North Bondi who were inspired by the carefree coastal lifestyle, creating sunglasses in between bro-mantic swims in the clear blue water of the Pacific Ocean. But a miracle happened. I tried a pair of Pacific Optical’s new range of sunnies on – hell, I tried on their entire range, and they did not make me look like any more of a turd than I usually do!

For those of you who have more to look for in a pair of shades beyond “do they make me look turdy”, you can tick that hand crafted box, as well as the Italian designed acetate box and the German optic lenses box. They’re light on your nose and don’t squeeze your head, plus the price point is way affordable – at $159 they’re about the cost of two pairs of LeSpec’s, which we all know you lose within three hours of buying anyway.

Just before starting my “looking like a turd in literally every pair of sunglasses in the world” Facebook page, Pacifico Optical come along and ruin everything.


How much

The Meeting Tree’s ‘Financial Year of the Long Lunch’ commemorative plate

Originally published by Two Thousand in 2015

The Meeting Tree are a duo, the coming together of long time buds Joyride and Raph, members of the One Day collective, uniting as one for the sole purpose of taking an idea too far as often as possible. An in-joke becomes a major label single. A hashtag becomes a film clip with thousands of views. A seemingly throwaway tweet becomes a 24 hour live feed for all to enjoy.

After starting 2015 by deeming it as ‘The Year of the Sloppy Rig’, The Meeting Tree ensured their own sloppiness at the start of the new financial year, spending the entirety of July 1st celebrating ‘The Financial Year of the Long Lunch’. Joyride and Raph sat themselves at a table at the Lord Gladstone, pointed a webcam at themselves and swallowed food and beverages throughout the next 24 hours. A few thousand people tuned in for a couple of minutes, wondered what the fuck was going on, tuned out, only to tune in a few hours later and repeating the process throughout the day.

If you’ve ever wanted to cherish the memory of a sporadically watched day-long webcast for the rest of your life, The Meeting Tree have released a sturdy plastic plate that commemorates The Financial Year of the Long Lunch. Enjoy your long lunch as you watch Joyride and Raph watch you while enjoying their own long lunch for eternity. It’s just one of the many amazing gifts bestowed upon us by the groundbreaking duo, the self-proclaimed ‘godfathers of Australian dance music’ are now also the godfathers of easy to clean dinnerware. Just don’t put your new plate in the microwave.

On The Meeting Tree’s Etsy page

How much

Related links
Listen to The Meeting Tree on Soundcloud or follow them on Instagram

SHOP: Prospector Store, Parramatta

Originally published by Two Thousand in 2015.

A chest full of terrariums. A little wooden bear. A teacup housing a murder mystery. Over 100 vintage coats in pristine condition. These are just a few of the things you’ll find at the Prospector Store in Parramatta.

My two theories as to why it’s called the Prospector Store.

One – It’s kind of difficult to find, the beautiful store hiding inside an average suburban street mall, locating it might become easier if you use a metal detector and/or a diviner.

Two – Store owner Geraldine Mills travels through the lands finding only the most exotic vintage wares. She is one of the few true prospectors in 2015, and her store is actually a trophy room, a testament to her profession.

Where most vintage and second hand stores are a hopelessly organised mess, Prospector Store feels more like an art gallery, an exhibition that you can buy every item of. Everything is curated by Geraldine, whose personality shines through her immaculate arrangements of knick-knacks and trinkets, amidst photos she’s taken and framed over the years.

Due to Parramatta council’s desire to become the biggest, most modern city in NSW, the space that houses Prospector Store will be developed into a million apartments by the end of the year, leaving Geraldine with just a month left of trade. While she’ll be keeping her online store, the real thing is a sight to behold. Do yourself a favour and check it out before it’s too late.


Shop 2, 162-172 Church Street Mall, Parramatta


Tues, Wed, Fri 11am-6pm
Thu 11am-7pm
Sat 10am-3pm

Related links


SHOP: A.P.C. Sydney


Originally published by Two Thousand in 2015.

In the same week that ABC announced they would close all 50 of their retail stores around Australia, A.P.C. opened their first retail store in Sydney. Is the A.P.C. store a suitable replacement for ABC? Are high end, military inspired fashions as good as a DVD box set of Father Ted? Instead of buying your grandparents a Dr Karl book for Christmas this year, can’t you just get them a $250 pair of jeans instead?

If you can afford it, why not? There’s genuinely not a bad item in this sleek boutique, so long as you overlook those kinda suss hats. A.P.C. play it smart and minimal, so there’s nothing garish on the racks (except those pricetags AM I RIGHT? Just kidding they’re very reasonable considering the quality of the garments).

Those legends at Incu, once the only place in Sydney with a decent collection of A.P.C. goods, are behind this new store, and they’ve stocked the beautiful wooden shelves with A.P.C.’s finest jeans, jumpers, sunnies, handbags, dresses, jackets, coats, shoes, candles and of course, those A.P.C. x Aesop ‘post-poo drops‘. All class.

406 Crown St, Surry Hills

Mon-Sun 10am-6pm

02 9380 2010


READ: Highlights from 500 issues of Two Thousand


I first subscribed to Two Thousand in 2007. An old Hotmail account contains every issue since 74 onwards, and although hosting changes have ensured those old issues are a mess of mostly broken links and missing images, you can still tell that each issue is full of reviews and recommendations from young writers who love Sydney.

The editor of that 74th issue was Nadia Saccardo, who is just one of the hundreds of Two Thousand contributors who were passionate about not just the city that they live in, but about getting others to be as passionate as they were. With every new editorial team came a slight change in tone (I hope my last year here can be fondly remembered as the era with the most dick jokes), but the drive was always the same: let the readers know about the coolest stuff happening in Sydney that week.

I got in touch with a few of the writers and editors who’ve contributed to the newsletter over the last decade to bring up some their highlights while they spent every week writing about the parts of Sydney that they were most passionate about each week.

Nadia Saccardo

The thing I loved about 2T through and through was that it was a platform to positively support people who were working hard to make Sydney more interesting and a nicer place to be. We had a lot of fun making the newsletter and website but always took that side of things super seriously.

Alex Vitlin

There were the times we got lost in a carpark looking for Alaska Projects; or woke up locked in a bar after sampling too much of its cocktail list; or when Bethany mused or Aniqa enthused; or when Cleo became the canniest food writer around; and every time Wilfred, our creative node, added a wing to his inner library of pop culture; and Hayley went from Bandits to Berlin. And everyone else found, just, all this goodness.

Two Thousand purported to be about the city but it was really about the people; just a legion of people who lived here forcefully wanting to do all these great things. And they appeared every week. It was hard to get to everyone, and it was a privilege, of sorts, that we couldn’t. Well done Sydney. Don’t stop doing that.

Hayley Morgan

I just know I’m about to leave out some pretty important stories we made. In my mind one editorial meeting melts into the next, especially since we are real journalists and decided we’d hold them at The Crix or The Hollywood. It’s a shared feeling though, that the best bit about working at The Thousands is that you get to share desks and email chains with the smartest people in Australia. So my favourite stories are the ones where I got to hang out, outside the office, with my wing lady Cleo Braithwaite. Snooping around the Design Files Open House with her was a lol – you really had to be there. Driving out to Orchard Hills/Tuscany to eat from a family’s backyard restaurant and squeal about their animals and fresh air was THE BEST too. Cheering from the sidelines when Golden Age Cinema & Bar opened is something I still brag about. But trying to convince all of Sydney to shave a Wu Tang logo into the back of their head is by far my greatest contribution to the internet.

Wilfred Brandt

I’m very lucky to have worked with so many talented people at a really fun job. It was exciting to hear all their great ideas and read their awesome writing each week (both within the Sydney office, and from the other cities). It was also really fun emailing something you wrote to someone else in the office for proofreading and waiting to hear them laugh at something stupid you wrote, or an inside joke. Cleo Braithwaite and I had a running competition to fit in puns each week… Scoops were great too, we got in the habit of eating a new place for lunch or dinner every work day (people were always surprised to learn we were all pretty much part-time). As READ editor I was deliriously happy I could email some random publisher in Spain, Lithuania, or L.A. and get free stuff. And it was really fun riding my bike across town to check out a place and write about it, giving terrific new, independent bars, restaurants, shops, festivals, clothing labels, breweries (etc) positive reviews and hearing that customers came pouring in afterwards.

I’m going to be totally narcissistic and talk about things I wrote which I am proud of. It was great to interview people I had always revered, such as John Waters and Cat Power. Other favourite articles: The Nut Shop Factory Outlet (Darren Knight was very pleased with my shout out to his gallery), the Clothing Optional Ice Cream Boat, Mark Drew’s Chronic Youth, the Teen Witch review I co-wrote with Hayley Morgan, and the Prince Tribute Show – fuck knows why about that last one. Maybe because man, that tone; writing in that tone every week was a pleasure, like texting your smart, hip, funny best friend, where you can be as romantic or cynical or cluey or stupid as you want.

Cleo Braithwaite

One of the incredible things about working on Two Thousand was the sheer scope of things that you could feasibly call ‘work’. Video of a kitten in a top hat to watch? Sure, that’s just researching COOL/FOOL links. Therefore work. Sitting with mates in the park on a sunny winter day, eating hot toast and glittery Space Jam? Yeah that’s work too. Eating yourself stupid in a little chunk of Tuscany out near Penrith? . Work, obviously. Getting Marys to put their secret fried chicken recipe down on paper? Delicious, crispy golden fried work. Even making a Joffrey Baratheon voodoo doll somehow fell under the generously-girthed umbrella that is work at Two Thousand.

Claire Finneran

Working for Two Thousand is really great.

Sometimes we get Arnotts biscuits inexplicably delivered in a cute branded carry bag. The best kind of press release is an edible press release as they say in the biz(cuit), but… why? Did we ever write about them in the past? Were they one of our first ever EATDRINKS? Did someone gush favourably over a new Tim Tam range?

I’m not complaining, right before Thursday deadline I’ll guiltlessly eat a whole box of Chicken Crimpy shapes and love every second of it. How great is that flavour dust residue that lies at the bottom of the foil bag, oh man, second only to the Barbecue shape red-finger coat- classic! I like to pre-lick and then get as much flavour stuck to my phalanges as possible. But, the mystery remains, a past editor must have dipped their hand into this bottomless cookie jar and started the supply. I wish I could ask them. I also wish I could show Arnotts how much I appreciate everything they’ve done for me. One day.

I might not use that old Hotmail account anymore, but after almost ten years I’m still subscribed to Two Thousand, and will continue to be after I’m deemed not cool enough to say what’s cool each week (which is actually tomorrow, so good riddance!). Here’s to 500 more issues of smoked mortadellaice cream pairingssmoking areascommemorative platesgross craft beers and fucking burgers. Here’s to Sydney.