Send Your Ex Gerberas

Originally published by Two Thousand in 2014

Inspired by Ship Your Enemies Glitter, the most captivating campaign of 2015 so far, Sydney florists Bloombox Co have started their own campaign just in time to ruin someone’s Valentine’s Day. Absolutely fuck up the day of the person who fucked up your heart by sending your ex a bunch of fugly gerberas.

I received a bunch at the beginning of the week. Having never received flowers before I was at first stoked, smitten with the identity of the mysterious flower sender. Smit turned to shit as I was suddenly surrounded by the giggles of my work peers. “Are those gerberas?” laughed my co-editor Claire, who until that day I assumed was my friend, as she lead the office in a chorus of cackling and finger pointing. I ran from my desk, fighting back tears and still clutching the obscene circus flowers. Which ex had sent them to me? Why did she also go one step further and arrange for a tiny car full of clowns to pick me up?

I’m now writing this from the empty lion cage, backstage at Bentley’s Travelling Circus. It’s the only place I can get good wi-fi reception. I have to get out before Rufus the lion returns from his rehearsal, which is fine because I’m needed in makeup in five minutes anyway. They’ve got me walking the tightrope tonight. Worst Valentine’s Day ever.

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