HALFWAY CROOKS 4TH BIRTHDAY

I don’t know if you’ve read the newspapers lately but they are all talking about one thing: 4 years of Halfway Crooks.

I know what you’re thinking – can a newspaper talk? And to that I answer yes, and they can beatbox. But this is not a place to discuss the vocal talents of newspapers, we’re here to talk about 4 long years of rap parties for party people.

Halfway Crooks began in a barn on Oxford St called Bright’n Up Bar. 3 local farmers had been harvesting some fine rap produce their whole lives and decided it was time to share their crops with the good public. These handsome farmers were Franco, Elston and Levins.

A predominantly east coast farmer, “Captain” Franco had spent most of his life ploughing the fields of ‘real hip hop’. He would plant seeds from all the elements and share the fruits of his labour with his flock of kosher pigs.

On the west side of town, Elston had a much more laidback approach to farming. Specialising in the greenest, stickiest crops, Elston would supply his organic soulful produce to all the fine lady farmers in the land.

Finally, way down South, there was Levins, a farmer whose IQ was dangerously high and who was frequently described as “very kool 4 a dad”. Displaying little skill on the 1’s and 2’s, Levins made up for it with frequent harvests of waviness.

After noticing a gap in the market, the 3 farmers got together to start a new evening to share their combined goods. They called this evening Halfway Crooks and it was an instant success, making the 3 of them household names and the constant front cover stars of the esteemed “Rappy Farmers Weekly”. After a year of running Halfway Crooks, they had to expand their operation to a much bigger barn – Phoenix, which they have called their home and filled to the brim each month for the last 3 years.

So get your flock together, put on your finest overalls and come celebrate 4 years of incredible rap produce at Halfway Crooks 4th Birthday at Phoenix on Saturday the 6th of April – which also happens to be Levins’ birthday! Bring him a present and maybe he won’t hold up a giant ‘NO’ in your face when you request a song. 

HALFWAY CROOKS 4TH BIRTHDAY
SATURDAY 6TH APRIL
PHOENIX
10PM – LATE
$10

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Confirm your attendance here.

Read last years equally silly write up.

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