Goodgod goes totally 90s this Friday night for The Rhythm Of the Night! With an all star lineup across the entire venue from 9pm – playing 90s rap and RnB classix in the front bar and nothing but 90s dance anthems out the back. Featuring sets from Ariane, Beni, Harry Hunter, Matka, Tulett and me! In anticipation, I put together a playlist of ten horrible 90s dance crazes that are welcome to make their comeback this Friday night at Goodgod.


Tickets are still available for Friday but selling fast – get them from Moshtix before they sell out!

1. The Hammer Dance

I’m putting this one first because the best way to do the Hammer dance is while wearing Hammer pants – so this is your chance to run out and buy a pair before Friday. I’m sure you can still get them at Target.

2. The Las Ketchup

Latin fever was high on the charts in the late nineties – from Ricky Martin’s Cup of Life to Shakira’s small and humble breasts – but nothing featured a dance as infectious as this incredbly forgettable number one hit. Oh wait, except that one song…

3. The Macarena

Still the absolute highlight of every Moby Disc DJ’s wedding set, The Macarena dance moves are forever burned into the brains of every single person who spent even one second in the 90s.

4. The Rump Shaker

Anyone can shake their rump but you get bonus points if you do it while playing a saxaphone and wearing a bikini.

5. The Hamsterdance

The instructions for doing the Hamsterdance are vague at best – “stomp your feet” is almost immediately followed by “you don’t even have to move your feet” – but this high pitched, crudely drawn piece of shit captured the hearts of the entire world.

6. The Jiggy

This one is easier to do while staring into a camera the entire time, barely moving your lower body. Don’t get ahead of yourself and whip your hair back and forth! If anyone bumps into you while getting jiggy, feel free to punch them in the face and shout “welcome to earth!”.

7. 5, 6, 7, 8

Almost as big as the latin dance pop craze was the now thankfully forgotten country dance pop craze. Steps may have been a million times more easy on the eye than Rednex, but the infectious lyrics of 5, 6, 7, 8 are no less haunting than Cotton Eyed Joe. They almost made line dancing cool again except of course they fucking didn’t.

8. Stop Right Now, Thank You Very Much

The Spice Girls needed somebody with a human touch in 1998 and this song helped people all over the world slow it down baby and have some fun with these easy to learn dance moves. This was the Spice Girls’ last single but their first song with dance moves attached to it. If you’re looking for something to blame for the Spice Girls break up, look no further than this dance.

9. The Bartman

Was this song and dance the best or worst thing The Simpsons was responsible for in the early 90s? Do people still carry this song around on their walkman to hijack otherwise boring dance recitals?

10. The Carlton

If enough people bring candles will we be prepared to play Tom Jones just so everybody can do the Carlton. We might even install a staircase for the full effect.

OTHER DANCES WELCOME THIS FRIDAY INCLUDE: The Urkel Dance, The Train, The Humpty Dance, The Achy Breaky Heart, The Tootsie Roll, Da Dip, Vogueing.

Originally posted on Two Thousand.

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