Ice cream tub and movie pairings

Originally published by Two Thousand in 2015

It’s eating-a-whole-tub-of-ice-cream-on-the-couch-and-watching-shit-movies weather. For about the same price as a waffle cone from a gourmet place you can get multiple litres of the stuff from the supermarket. Here are some movie/tub combos that are highly recommended.

Maggie Beer Burnt Fig, Honeycomb & Caramel ice cream
It’s Complicated

For the rich old white lady inside of all of us, it doesn’t get better than a Meryl Streep rom-com and tub of Maggie Beer’s finest. Meryl Streep could actually play Maggie Beer in a movie, they kind of look similar? Alec Baldwin kind of looks like a burnt fig as well. I have no idea what happens in It’s Complicated. I paid ten bucks for this little tub of ice cream and finished it before the opening credits were done. Highly recommended.

Splice Pine-Lime Swirl ice cream

A big neon green thing that sounds like a great idea at the time but one hour after you started you hate yourself, but not quite enough to stop until it’s finished. That describes my relationship with this weird Splice ice cream that I just ate two litres of and the first Shrek movie which I just watched for the twentieth time in my life. It could’ve been worse – I could’ve bought two tubs and watched the sequel.

Four litres of Home Brand Neapolitan ice cream

If you’re about to spend your weekend binge watching an entire season of TV, you need at least four litres of Neapolitan. If you buy the really cheap stuff it’s not actually made from milk, rather some cool chemicals that will stop the ‘ice cream’ from melting at any point during your 13 hour TV marathon. You know what else has cool chemicals in it? The first episode of Daredevil! When he’s a kid he cops a vat of cool chems to the eyes and then develops superpowers. I ate the final litre of Neapolitan through my eyes and the only superpower I developed was type 2 diabetes.

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