I made a hot new rap mix to celebrate The Dip’s 2nd birthday. I made one last year with a tonne of Miami Bass on it. Since we’re launching a new hip hop / r&b night this Thursday I thought I’d make this one a straight up rap mix. These are the songs that we blast in the kitchen, and in the car on our drive home from work. It’s almost 50% songs produced by DJ Mustard, which is pretty special.

Tracklist: WAVEY DAVEY B INTRO / THEM PHRESH BOYZ dip / DJ DRAMA (feat TRAVIS PORTER & KIRKO BANGZ) real niggas in the building / YOUNG JEEZY feat 2 CHAINZ r.i.p. / TY$ & JOE MOSES weekend / RASHAD feat T.I. & YOUNG DRO tell em what they want to hear / YG toot it & boot it / MYSTIKAL bouncin’ back / YG pop it / HOT BOYS feat BIG TYMERS i need a hot girl / T.I. feat LIL’ WAYNE ball / TRAVIS PORTER feat TYGA ayy ladies / TYGA feat RICK ROSS dope / FRENCH MONTANA feat TYGA & ACE HOOD thrilla in manilla / 2 CHAINZ i’m different / RICH KIDZ house wife / E-40 feat YG, IAMSU & PROBLEM function / BEYONCE feat LIL’ KEKE, SLIM THUG, WILLIE D, SCARFACE, Z-RO & BUN B i been on (h town remix)

Speaking of mustard, we’re having a goddamned Hot Dog Eating Contest this Thursday night! Lots of awesome prizes to be won - all the details are here on The Dip site. 

We also made our first ever t-shirts, which will be on sale this Thursday night, and online over at Label State.

And we’re launching a new weekly party! DIP HOP - rap and r&b every Thursday night in the Front Bar at Goodgod for FREE. I’m DJing every week plus kool pals like Joyride, Franco, Elston, Leon Smith, Radge and more are playing too.

Enjoy the mix and come along this Thursday night if you can! 

Pop That!, my party with Shantan from Stolen Records, is back again this Saturday night at Goodgod Small Club.

We’ve got a pal from Brisbane playing with us - Mr Sampology! He selected a few youtubes for Oyster Magazine and put ‘em up in this sweet post: http://oystermag.com/oyster-playlist-sampology

Also I made a couple of award winning short films which you can view in their entirety here: http://youonlyliveonce.com.au/pop-that/

See you on Saturday! Or not, you jerk.

MY INCREDIBLE EVENT BLURB FOR THE NEXT HALFWAY CROOKS PARTY WAS DEEMED “TOO REAL” BY ONE OF MY “BUSINESS ASSOCIATES” AND I WAS FORCED TO CENSOR MYSELF FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY FACEBOOK BLURB WRITING CAREER. MAYBE HE THOUGHT THE BABY BASH REFERENCE WOULD TURN PEOPLE AWAY AND “DAMAGE” OUR “BRAND”, I DUNNO. HERE IT IS FOR THE PUBLIC TO CHERISH AND PASS ON FOR GENERATIONS TO COME. WAS IT A TOTAL BRAND DAMAGER? I’LL LET THE FUTURE DECIDE.

Halfway Crooks is back like that herpes you got last year. That special herpes that played all those cool rap songs and made you dance so much that you almost forgot about how itchy you were. You bought all that topical ointment and applied it liberally on all your crevices and sure you looked a lot prettier without all that rash on your face but damn if you didn’t miss the good times you and your herpes used to have. You still flick through the pages of the scrapbook you kept while you and your herpes were together and struggle to hold back the tears. Yeah your friends didn’t approve of him but fuck your friends they don’t know the real you. You’re a party animal. A real maniac on the dancefloor. You might be doing well at your new job with only a few more months left of your masters degree but deep down all you can think of is your old mate herpes sprinting down your hallway, kicking the door in while holding a boombox over his head, blaring “Baby I’m Back” by Baby Bash featuring Akon. You always loved that song, especially the hook. You remember when everyone was mad at Akon for throwing a kid or something and how they overcame their hatred and learnt to accept Akon for who he was. You wonder if the world is ready for herpes again as he reaches for your laptop and clicks “attending” on this Halfway Crooks event. “See you there, herpes” you laugh. “I hope they play Niggas In Paris”.

Come celebrate THREE YEARS OF WAVINESS next Saturday 10 March, when HALFWAY CROOKS turns THREE. That’s right, THREE long years of being a hip hop party for party people.

It brings a tear to my eye to think about that first party. Things were so different back then. We called Toni Toni Lee “Spruce Lee”, we called Levins “Sleater Brockman” and we called The Bright’n Up Bar “home”. 

I remember the crazy things we said before that first party. “We will only play classic hip hop and no new Southern shit” said Franco. “I’m not on Twitter yet!” said Elston. “I don’t know how to DJ!” said Levins.

Some 30 parties later and Halfway Crooks has become an Australian hero, dominating the charts and bringing home 94 consecutive number one singles worldwide. We won the Olympics, the Oscars and World War 2. 

In the 3 years since our first party, Halfway Crooks has brought peace to Planet Pit, illegalized cancer and said no to breakdancing. We starred in 3 seasons of Blue Heelers Reloaded and successfully marketed Coke Zero to most of Europe. 

We’ve gold plated our teeth, sold our hair to Africa and made a robot version of Dan Akroyd and now it’s time to let our fucking hair down and pop a few fucking bottles of whatever cheap Cristal knockoff they sell behind the bar at Phoenix.

That’s right mates it’s Halfway Crooks’s 3rd birthday and we’re hear to kick you in the face and tell you how much you liked getting kicked in the face by us.

Captain Franco, Levins and Toni Toni Lee are leaving the safety of their palaces and heading down to Phoenix to celebrate the gift of life with you, the people. And they’ve invited a couple of GOATs to join them.

For the first time, Halfway Crooks welcomes our guest DJs Radge, Leon Smith and Joyride as they join our crusade to play hip hop music for party people. 

Get there early because this one’s gonna be a reeeeeeaallll ball shaker.

HALFWAY CROOKS 3RD BIRTHDAY 
with 
CAPTAIN FRANCO, LEVINS & TONI TONI LEE
plus guests
RADGE, LEON SMITH & JOYRIDE
on 
SATURDAY MARCH THE 10TH
at 
PHOENIX 
from 
10PM
for 
$10

This Saturday at Goodgod, my pal Braddy is playing records before me and then I get on and play whatever the fuck I want till the sun comes up for FREE.

Thanks to Bobby Gelato for making this amazing poster!

TONIGHT!

Me and my pal Leon Smith started a party at Bada Bing, the strip club in Kings Cross. Leon DJs there 3 nights a week and convinced me to go there once for a few drinks. Upon getting there I realised that all Leon does is play my fav kind of rap for hours and hours surrounded by girls. I asked if I could get myself a small slice of that delicious pie and surprisingly Leon said yes. Thus, ‘No Hands’, our monthly Sunday night joint, was born.

It’s happening again this Sunday night, if you need a taste of what to expect Leon recorded our sets from last month! have a listen here!

See you at The Bing!

Hey mates of the slightly more south!

Me and my friend Radge are coming down this weekend to play some shows. We were actually coming to see Lil’ Wayne’s sideshow but the dick promoters cancelled that yesterday so I feel you as a city owe me a decent weekend. Please join hands and attend these wonderful events.

SATURDAY - Favela Rock at Ms Libertines - I’m DJing. So is Radge and a tonne of Melbourne homies.

SUNDAY - BUNZ & GRILLZ at The Mercat - this one is big time. I’m gonna DJ and man the BBQ for a few hours. Check out the terrifying poster up the top. Radge, Mat Cant and Evet aka Juicy Jean are DJing too and all we are playing is good time West Coast & Southern rap. 

On the menu will be:

LEV’S DAWG a grilled kosher frankfurt with tomato salsa, pickled yellow peppers, chipotle mayo and mustard on a steamed brioche bun
GRILLED WATERMELON & BACON BURGER with onions, rocket & lime mayo (available without bacon for our vego pals)
GRILLED CORN with lime mayo, chipotle salt and coriander

Entry is free and the food is cheap. 

Come be a pal, Melbourne pals! Come pal around and shit. Krillin’s coming down too. Fun!